Yesterday, I experienced somewhat of a revelation.
My first Monday morning of 2016 began early with a vivid nightmare… the kind that jolts you and wakes you with wide-eyes. I thought to myself… where the heck did that come from? This nightmare was dark and left me feeling confused and uncomfortable. Not the best way to start the first week of the new year… until I felt an urge to get to the bottom of it.
We all have scary dreams from time to time. Usually they seem so out there that I disregard them almost immediately, but when a nightmare is SO vivid, it’s hard not to wonder what the heck was the point of it… right?! In the past, I’ve gone to silly websites that interpret dreams/nightmares but the reasonings never resonated with me.
This time, I listened to Abraham Hicks speak about nightmares. I started to feel better and understand why we have certain dreams. Here’s my take: As we sleep, we have no resistance. Our dreams reflect our vibrations and translate the way we view life in that moment. We can’t hide or pretend or cover anything up or put on a fake smile. Nightmares on the other hand, are an indication of insecurities or fears that can be demonstrated while we sleep. They’re not hints about bad things coming in the future, but rather, hints of true feelings you’ve been experiencing.
Ever since moving into this studio apartment by myself, I’ve had to face fears, some new and some old. One fear that’s been haunting me the past few weeks more than ever before (especially on Sunday nights) is the fear of being by myself. Weekdays are busy and my mind is occupied but when I check out on the weekends, this fear makes itself known. Being alone with your thoughts for long periods of time can be a scary thing.. The weird part? I’ve always loved my alone time and thoroughly need it to function and feel like myself. I never minded being alone in the past because someone was always coming back home later. Having that comforting thought to fall back on made everything okay.
Now, no one is coming home. Moving was my choice, my decision and my idea.
Before you think I’m totally wacko,
I do have friends and family that I see weekly. I’m even dating a new (really cute) guy! Obviously, this fear delves deeper than feeling alone because I’m really not, I just live alone. In my nightmare, I remember feeling terrified and anxious and worried, similar to how I’ve been feeling towards real life. Scared of being alone in my apartment with new bills and new responsibilities. Scared of failing. The ‘everything is on me’ type of anxiety that has been building started to make itself known during sleep.
After piecing together the puzzle, I felt this immediate rush of relief. It was all my doing. I created this fear that I need to deal with and then squash when I please. Reminding myself that life is already planned out and everything will work out brings relief too.
We create fears that build and build until they become this giant wall that we built all by ourselves. Then we have to tear that wall down which can be emotionally exhausting and painful. Oftentimes, we ignore the wall instead of dealing with the issue because it’s much easier than facing fears. With so many changes in 2015, I’m not surprised that I built up this wall of fear and anxiety. It’s all apart of the journey and a blessing in disguise, perhaps!? I think so.
The universe works in mysterious ways.
While my main focus for the blog is plant based nutrition, there are other facets of health I feel compelled to incorporate like mental health and spiritual health. Food plays a large part in our overall well-being but so does the mental aspect. Every change, every fear and every goal starts in the mind with a thought and a desire. The power of the mind is incredible. So much so that it can play games to keep us from facing fears and putting ourselves out there.
Once in a while, I feel compelled to share motivational type posts, especially around the new year when we’re feeling fresh and driven and inspired. While it’s easy to conjure up motivation for new goals in the beginning of the year, as humans, we tend to lose interest and drive as we run into fears and obstacles.
Why do we do this?
To protect ourselves of course, from screwing up, making mistakes and possibly failing, but if you think about it, screwing up and making mistakes ends up being the only way to get anywhere in life.
So what if we fail at something? Seriously, so what.
At least we’re taking action and not sitting in the corner where it feels safe because we all know that leads nowhere. Mistakes aren’t really mistakes, just learning points, at least in my mind. We will keep making them until we learn and try again in a different way. Failing is part of the journey and ultimately, the most important part because how you handle adverse situations (positively or negatively) reveals your character and readiness to let in all of your true desires. This concept can relate to anything in life. Work, relationships, diet, exercise, anything. We don’t have time to be comfortable or wait for things to get better so choosing to conquer fears rather than hide from them is my message for 2016.
One more thing, I’m amazed at how many of you are doing my 5 Day Body Balance Cleanse this week and starting this year in a healthy way! You’re already doing big things for your health which influence all aspects of your life in a positive way. Keep up the good work and hopefully this post can inspire others to try something new like going vegan for a day or a week or even giving the cleanse a try.
Go out there and do something that scares you. You are stronger than you think. ♥